My dear friend!
I could have started by stating how cruel the teenagers’ world is, but I won’t. You know that very well yourself. You know that you are special, that many reject you just because they are afraid of being rejected themselves, they are afraid to be themselves. You are really courageous, if you stand up for your right to individuality, but sometimes even the strongest of people can’t take it any more.
It is not a solution. To be yourself is the most difficult thing in the world, especially when you are a teenager, especially when you are so different from your peers, especially when no one understands you, when you have no one to talk to about your problems.
Believe me: there are so many people in the world who would love you the way you are. The times have really changed, and homosexuals are being treated more and more tolerantly in many corners of the world.
Don’t pay attention to these homophobic laws, don’t try to be invisible. Express yourself – through art, sport or study. Open up only to those you trust. Adolescence is not the best time for public revelations, and your sexual orientation is not a matter of shame or pride. Be yourself, grow up and develop. The whole world is open to you, even though it can be so cruel at times.
I, too, went to school, became an object of mockery; it was painful, insulting and shameful. Sometimes it seemed that the nightmare would never end and there was only one way of stopping it. An unrequited love made the all-consuming despair worse and worse every day. A life in a small town for a gay teenager is tough, I understand it like no other. If you are in a similar situation, do not despair! If you need help, find phone numbers or addresses of LGBT organisations on the Internet, overcome your shyness and just make that call or write that letter. Wonderful people work there, people who felt the same things once and managed to make it through this difficult period of life.
I managed to do it. I got into a Saint Petersburg university, found new friends here and met my first boyfriend. Life started to get better, I felt real independence and confidence, and had faith in myself and the people around me. And I really believed that it would get even better.
Your life will change. You will get to uni, find new friends and your other half. Be strong, get through the storm of teenage years and save yourself for the new world. You future is worth living now.
With respect, Denis